Spaghetti with Chili and Asparagus

I'm trying new things this month - and one of those is stepping outside of my comfort zone with things like food spiciness.  I've never been a fan of chillies.  I don't have a lot of heat tolerance most of the time but have tended to be downright paranoid with it.

This was fantastic.  It contains two whole chillies and you'd think that makes it super spicy - but it had only the tiniest hint of spice unless you were actually chewing on bits of chilli (Don't do that.  Aaaaugh burn.).  Most of the chilli in the bites you take won't go through such a direct crushing process and you miss the vast majority of the potential heat.  My son's biggest complaint about the existence of the chillies was, "I don't know what this is.  I don't want it." and that's just 4 year olds.

I want to start this with a couple of relevant tips.  A lot of people avoid things like chillies and asparagus because they don't know how to best prepare them.  What parts do I eat? How do I cut them up?  Let me help you with that by showing you (or rather telling you) what I do.

Chillies

So a recipe once suggested that you put chillies into your meal - thinly sliced.  Sweet.  You're going to be a total badass and try this with a mild chilli.  Fuck yeah!

You grab a whole chilli, cut the stem-end off and then slice it finely into rings full of seeds.  You toss it with your meal.  You immediately feel as though you were horribly lied to.  This shit is absurdly spicy.  It's almost inedible.  OMG make the burn stop!

Many recipes unfortunately neglect some basic instructions on exactly HOW to process certain vegetables such as chillies.  They assume a certain level of knowledge that should -never- be assumed.

So here's how I do it.  This works so much better.  Don't be afraid of chillies.  It'll be okay.

1. Keep your hands completely away from your face until you have finished.  For serious.
2.. Cut the stem end off of your chilli.
3. Slice the chilli in half lengthwise.
4. With super clean hands, use your thumbnail to scrape out the ENTIRE inside of the chili.  We want to discard of all of the seeds and membranes.  Contrary to popular belief - the heat is in the membranes, not the seeds.  Get all of that shit out unless a LOT of heat is what you WANT.
5. Set your chili skins aside and clean your cutting area of all membranes and seeds as well as the juice from these parts.  This will reduce the heat of your final dish.
6. On a fresh cutting surface, finely slice your chili skins and add to your dish.
7. Wash your hands -very, very, very thoroughly-.  I usually have to wash mine (including under my nails) at least twice before I can touch my eyes, lips or mouth without it burning.

Asparagus

I avoided asparagus for a long time.  When I tried to prepare it I was overcooking it terribly or undercooking it.  I would eat it past its freshest and I would include the woody parts because I didn't know how to properly prepare it.  This is what I have learned.

* Asparagus is best when either steamed lightly, blanched or roasted.  Squishy is bad.  You want a little crunch.
* The woody, inedible bits of asparagus getting you down? Easily fixed.  Hold the asparagus in your hands and flex it along the stem until it breaks.  It will snap almost precisely along the line where the stem becomes woody.
* Choosing asparagus at the store isn't, unfortunately, as simple as grabbing a bunch and hoping for the best.  After I finally learned how to identify fresh asparagus, I realized that many of the bunches at my local shops were very over ripe.  Asparagus should be firm and crisp.  If you hold up a stalk at one end, it should not bend downward with its own weight.  It should never be wrinkled (as asparagus will tend to become when it starts to wilt).   The tips should be firm when you pinch them.  If they are squishy, it is rotting.

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Knew all of that already? Sweet - you're totally better informed than I was when I started cooking (I couldn't make toast, seriously). Let's move on to the recipe bits.

Spaghetti with Chili and Asparagus

Serves 4

Total Time: 25 minutes

Ingredients

100ml olive oil

16 asparagus spears, cut into 5cm pieces

400g spaghetti

150g rocket, chopped

2 small red chillies, deseeded and chopped

1 lemon - zested and juiced into a bowl

1 clove garlic, minced

120g parmesan cheese

Instructions

1. Bring a large pot of water to boil on the stove.  Add 1 tablespoon of olive oil and a pinch of salt. 

2. Blanch the asparagus for 3-4 minutes.  Remove with a slotted spoon and immediately run under cold water (this halts the cooking process). Drain and set asdie to cool.

3. Return the water to the stove and bring back to a boil.

4. Add the spaghetti - cooking until just al dente.  Drain and return to the pan.

5. Meanwhile, add the rocket, lemon zest and juice, garlic and 65g of the Parmesan to the asparagus and toss.

6. Add this mix to the pasta, pouring over the remaining olive oil.  Season lightly with salt and pepper.  

7. Mix to coat - divide among 4 bowls and top with the remaining Parmesan.  Serve hot.

Easy Avocado Cutting

Avocados are delicious but cutting them up kind of grosses me out and is fiddly - especially if they're overripe - like mine were.

Here's my trick for cutting up avocados with minimal mess.

Start with half an avocado still in the skin.

Insert the knife and cut it into sections.

Turn the avocado 90 degrees and cut it again.

Now scoop out your cut up avocado with a spoon.

And voilà.  No muss, no fuss.  Chopped up avocado!

Now to go put some lotion on my hands - because boy do they look terrible and dry!!

Bread Baking Tips

These tips are related to my recipe post: Plain White Bread

Please note that I am NOT a professional baker - these are just based on my experiences and limited research in bread making.  I'm happy to hear suggestions or comments - but please don't get all troll-ey as though I'm claiming I know everything.  I don't.  I will, however, continue to update this as I continue to learn.

TIPS

Water temperature: The PERFECT water temperature for baking bread is 105-110F.  If you're a nerd like me, go crazy with a multimeter and get it absolutely spot on.  Since I'm lazy and disorganized and frequently can't even find my multimeter, I just put my wrist under the tap.  When it's comfortably warm, it's good.

Non-metal bowl/spoon:  Many recipes will stress the importance of using wooden spoons to mix your ingredients.  They insist that metal bowls/spoons cause the yeast in the dough to die - but I can't actually find any real science behind this.  It seems to be mostly anecdotal.  That said, I refrain from using metal bowls or spoons anyway - just in case.

Yeast storage: I've tried storing my yeast everywhere from a shelf in the kitchen to a cabinet to my refrigerator to the freezer.  I get my best results when I store my yeast in a cool, dark place.  I don't recommend buying huge tubs of dry yeast.  I buy whatever I can use in 3 months.  It becomes less potent over time.

Kneading method: For those unfamiliar with kneading dough - the easiest way is: Press down with heels of hands, fold toward you.  Press down with heels of hands, fold toward you.  Press down with heels of hands, fold toward you.  When it gets stupid wide, rotate 90 degrees.  Repeat until finished.

Importance of kneading: It takes somewhere between 10 and 25 minutes to knead a single loaf of bread.  Yup.  That's a long time.  I'm always tempted to stop after about 4 minutes with a "Eh, good enough" - but that will cause problems such as heavy, dense bread and crumbly loaves.  If you knead your bread properly it will be airy and fluffy.  In my experience, 90% of bread baking problems are caused by improper kneading.  Okay I made that statistic up.  But it's got to be way up there.  Kneading distributes the yeast evenly throughout he bread and develops the gluten - you want gluten (unless you don't -in which case this recipe is totes useless to you, why are you even looking at it?)

Smooth and elastic dough: If you form your dough into a ball, it should be a nice, smooth ball free of prominent lumps, bumps, pits and dimples.  If you pull a bit of your dough, it should stretch, not immediately break off the ball.  If you poke the ball of dough, it should bounce back.  This is important.  Smooth and elastic dough is a sign that you have kneaded your dough enough and it is ready for proofing.

Proper oiling/covering of rising dough: If you don't cover your dough, it may not stay warm enough to properly rise.  If you don't oil it correctly, it may form a gross crust on the top that will seriously affect your final texture.  Keep it moist and warm.

Proofing: Proofing dough is basically letting it rise.  If it's summer, I use my microwave because it's a convenient little box that contains warmth and moisture.  If it's winter, I put bowls of rising bread dough in my living room (the only heated room in my house) within 3 or 4 metres of the fire.  Some people will caution against having the bread in a place that's too warm.  If you're not uncomfortable in the area where the dough is rising, you're probably fine.  It should take somewhere between 45-60 minutes for a ball of dough to double in size.  If it takes significantly less time - it is in an area that is too warm (this will result in yeasty tasting bread). If it is in an area that is too cold, it will be dense and inconsistent in texture.

If you proof your dough for too long, you will end up with overproofing problems.  This happens if the dough has been rising for too long and the yeast has run out of steam.  The bread will deflate slightly before you can get it to the oven and will not re-rise upon baking.  This is probably fine but your bread may be denser than you'd like.  To salvage overproofed bread, try re-kneading and reproofing it.  Or just do what I do and bake it as it is.

Punching: I'm not joking.  Kick that dough's ass.  Think of the dough as your douchebag ex and beat it utterly senseless.  Punching dough releases excess carbon dioxide and reduces unpleasant yeasty flavours.

Bread doneness: Take the bread out of the oven and slide it out of the pan.  Turn it over and tap on the bottom like you're lightly knocking on a door.  If it sounds hollow, it's done.  If it doesn't, put it back into the pan and back into the oven.  Try not to burn yourself in the process.  Hot bread will produce hot steam.

Bread storage: I was once like you.  I stored my bread in plastic bags.  What did I get? Mouldy bread really quickly.  The best way to store a fresh loaf of bread (as long as you're intending to eat it soonish) is on your counter atop a cutting board.  Right out in the open.  Once you cut of a slice, turn the bread cut-side down onto the board.  Your bread will stay good this way for 2-3 days.  We have no problems going through a loaf of bread in this amount of time. If you find that your cut end goes stale, cover it in aluminium foil.  If you really just can't go through a loaf of bread that quickly - the refrigerator is the place to turn. However, while refrigerated bread will stay mould-free for longer, it goes stale more quickly at lower temperatures.

Freezing: I can't be bothered to literally bake a new loaf of bread every 2-3 days and so will bake as many as 12 loaves in one day.  To freeze your loaf of bread: Let it cool to room temperature, wrap in foil and then wrap in plastic.  The best way to thaw is simply to remove the loaf, unwrap it and place it on the counter.  This will take about half a day but will give you the best result. Thawing in the oven or the microwave will make chewier, staler bread but will be much faster.

Brushing before baking: Some people brush their bread with something (water, oil, milk, egg white) before baking it either to allow a topping to stick or to give it a glossy finish).  When doing this, you must be very gentle with the brush or it is possible to deflate your loaf.    If your loaf deflates and does not re-inflate, that is a sign that the dough has been over-proofed (you let it rise for too long).   A good way of judging a dough's readiness  is by pressing a gentle dimple into the surface of the bread.  If it bounces back quickly it needs more time to rise.  If it fills in slowly - it is ready to be baked.  If it does not fill in at all, you have overproofed your dough.  You can still bake it and eat it but you may have some texture problems.  It is also possible to re-knead overproofed dough to salvage it into a normal loaf - but I'm lazy and rarely do this.